Sunday, September 29, 2013

heavenly homes: The Empty Nest

heavenly homes: The Empty Nest: September 15, 2013 was the official date that we became empty nesters.  I expected to be in the bed with severe depression for at least a co...

Saturday, September 28, 2013

The Empty Nest

September 15, 2013 was the official date that we became empty nesters.  I expected to be in the bed with severe depression for at least a couple of weeks and to need some pretty in-depth therapy for at least six months.  After all, being a stay-at-home mom to my five children was my life's calling for the last 26 years.  One day, out of the blue, you have no more children at home.  Just like that, my career of being a stay-at-home mom ended.  Kitty left for her YWAM program in New York and something strange happened....

 

 I started sleeping late.  I started giving all of my attention to my husband. I bought some dance lessons on Groupon.  I began to do some things that I wanted to do.  I reconnected with several old friends. I started noticing hundreds of things to be thankful for and counting my blessings.  As the days passed, I realized that I was more content and peaceful than I had expected to be.  Want to know why? Because the expression "empty nest" is not a term that is applicable to people whose hearts are full and my heart is full!  I have five children who love the Lord and who love me. There is no greater joy on the face of the earth than to know that your children are walking with the Lord.  I am not empty.  I am full of joy and peace and my heart is at rest. I would go so far as to say that I am rich. Rich in the things with eternal consequences.  The condition of my heart is not dependent on how many children I have under my roof.  How silly was I to buy into that?! I was sad most of last year because I was dreading the dreaded "empty nest."  I know God and I should have known better.


In Ecclesiastes, King Solomon writes about the futility of life.  He asks a lot of questions and repeats himself  a lot but in the end he makes it clear that the "things" of life are meaningless.  He encourages us to look for joy in the companionship of our mates, a cheerful disposition and a reverence for God.  Amen King Solomon, good preaching.


Eccl. 3:1 says: "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven."This verse has given me so much comfort and hope in the different seasons in my life. The footnote in my Disciples Study Bible says:

        God has constructed His world so that different events come and go on schedule. The world God created has a well-balanced structure.  He holds everything together in His wise and omnipotent hand.

It is such a relief to know that my times are in God's hands.  God is good. He is faithful and I can trust Him. The book of Ecclesiastes does not offer the final light to a worthwhile life, but it does lead us to praise Jesus Christ all the more for bringing the final Light that gives supreme worth to life.  Both here on earth and in eternity.


So I'm good. Really good.  But if you are in a season of life that is very difficult for you and you are not good, I have some suggestions that I pray will help you:

1) Be gentle with yourself.  Sleep late.  Take a nap.  Put away your to-do list. Delegate responsibilities. Learn to say "no."

2) Breathe deeply.  Go ahead take about seven really deep, slow breaths.  It is good for you.

3) Take care of yourself.  Eat well and exercise. Drink lots of pure water.  Really simple to do.

4) Find a happy place to visit...your little heaven on earth.  Mine is Collier's Nursery here in Birmingham.  Go to your place and drink it all in.

5) Try something new.  I bought some French CD's so that I can be fluent when Rusty takes me to Paris someday!  What have you always wanted to do? Run a marathon? Paint like the masters? Learn to sew or knit? Go back to school? Grow a rose garden?The sky is the limit.

6) Dream and plan for the future.  Don't lose hope.

7) Surround yourself with positive life-giving friends who love you and who will pray for you and speak truth to you.

8) Give thanks.  This simple practice can change your life. Have you read Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts? Visit her blog at www.aholyexperience.com

9) Help someone else. Find a way each day to do something for someone else.  Something as simple as smiling holding the door for a stranger can make their day.

10) Count your blessings.

Calm My Anxious Heart: A Woman's Guide to Contentment by Linda Dillow has had a very positive impact on me and all of my family and friends who have read it.  It is a great companion book for a difficult season.

Be at rest dear friends.  God has you in the palm of His hand.

I hope to share more frequently as the Lord leads me.  I welcome your comments and suggestions for future topics.

Blessings to you and yours,
JoAnne

"This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24




Friday, September 27, 2013

The True Love Waits Fallout



I DON’T WAIT ANYMORE.


When I was 16, I got a purity ring.
And when I was 25, I took it off.
I didn’t tell anyone I was doing it — it wasn’t a statement or an emotional thing. I just slipped it off my finger that day and, before tucking it away in a box, ran my finger around the words on the familiar gold band.
“True Love Waits.” Waits.
What’s it “waiting” for, anyway?
*****
I had my reasons for deciding not to wear it anymore. Other people might have other reasons. It’s a graveyard of hearts, this place where single church girls crash into their late 20s and early 30s. Churches see the symptoms. They scramble to reach out to the ever-growing young adult singles crowd who feels alienated by family-oriented services.
But there’s something bigger behind it than that.
Much bigger.
There are a lot of girls out there who don’t know who God is anymore – the God of their youth group years just isn’t working out. Back then, that God said to wait for sex until they are married, until He brings the right man along for a husband. They signed a card and put it on the altar and pledged to wait.
And wait they did.
*****
And waited and waited and waited.
Some of them have prayed their whole lives for a husband, and he hasn’t shown up. They’ve heard the advice to “be the woman God made you to be, focus on that, and then the husband will come.” They’ve read “Lady in Waiting,” gotten super involved in church and honed their domestic skills.
And still they wait.
More than a decade ago, a youth leader handed them a photocopied poem in Sunday School written to them from “God” that said, “The reason you don’t have anyone yet is because you’re not fully satisfied in Me. You have to be satisfied with Me and then when you least expect it, I’ll bring you the person I meant for you.”
And the girls see it posted on their bulletin boards from time to time.
“You’re right, God,” they say. “We’re not satisfied in you yet. We will put you first and then you can bring us a husband in your timing.”
But many of them – if they’re honest – will tell you that time has passed, and it’s wrecking their view of God.
If this is who God’s supposed to be, then He’s tragically late.
So some decide to chuck “Lady in Waiting” out the window … and possibly their virginity with it. Church goes next. God might go next, too. If He doesn’t answer these prayers after they’ve held up their end of the bargain, why would He answer any others?
Whether it was the fault of the leaders, the fault of us girls, or both, a tragedy happened back then.
A lot of girls were sold on a deal and not on a Savior.
*****
I had that poem on my bulletin board all through high school – the one where “God” was telling me to fall in love with Him first and then I would be able to fall in love with a husband later.
Who wrote that poem anyway?
Pretty sure it wasn’t God.
When Jesus was here on the earth, the crowds would follow Him because they saw He gave good things. But that’s not what He wanted. He wanted their hearts for Himself. So He would turn to them and say things like, “If you don’t love Me so much that every other relationship in your life looks like hate by comparison, you can’t follow Me.” (Matthew 10:34-39, paraphrase)
That sounds a lot different from the poem.
Christ is the source of everything we need and the giver of all good gifts … but in telling people about Him, it’s possible we’ve sold them on a solution for life’s problems and not life itself.
What if we as girls had learned early on that having Him was everything, not a means to the life we think He would want us to have.
If we had learned we don’t abstain from sex because we’re “waiting.” We abstain because we love Him.
If I’d had on my bulletin board, “Fall in love with Jesus.” That’s it. Bottom line. That’s everything you need to know, to work toward, to put your hope in.
If I’d learned who He is, what He wants, how to give Him everything, not “wait” so that one day I could give my everything to someone else.
If I’d learned that it’s not bad to pray for a husband, but that my greater prayer should be for Him to spend my life as He chooses for His glory.
If we as believers make that our message, things could be drastically different for a lot of girls wondering why the God they think they learned to follow doesn’t compute. It doesn’t necessarily stop the desire for a husband or end all feelings of loneliness, but it does show a God who provides, loves and gives infinite purpose even to our singleness rather than a God who categorically denies some who pray for husbands while seemingly giving freely to others.
It shows that while marriage is good, He is the greater goal.
*****
Don’t think I’ve done this perfectly.
I’d be deceiving you if you thought that. I’ve had relationships where I made major mistakes. I’ve gone through angst-ridden phases where I met with friends to plead together with God to bring us husbands. I’ve planned major life decisions around possibilities.
I lived like I was waiting for something.
And that’s why I slipped off my ring that day. It wasn’t that I wanted to sleep with people – I haven’t. It wasn’t a slap to True Love Waits, or to anyone who wears a purity ring – saving sex for marriage is good and is His design.
I just didn’t want to wait anymore – didn’t want to live like I was waiting on anyone to get here.
I already have Him … and He is everything.
“Follow Christ for His own sake, if you follow Him at all.” – J.C. Ryle

Sunday, August 26, 2012

Whew! What a summer! I am so glad for Fall and the routine it brings with it!  I am looking so forward to football, boots, orange leaves, fires in the fireplace, fairytale pumpkins and walks on chilly days!!!

I have had a couple of life-changing experiences lately that I wanted to share with you.  I have been reading a book series by Lynn Austin called Chronicles of the Kings.  It is five books based on the lives of King Ahaz,  King Hezekiah and his successor, Manasseh, his son.  I don't know about you, but whenever I spend any time in Chronicles or Kings, I am clueless.  One king is bad, the next one is good, the next one is evil, the next one follows God and so on.  Austin follows the scripture carefully as she weaves the fictional part of the story. She quotes pages and pages of scripture and all of the action happens chronologically. Isaiah and Micah share their prophecies with the Kings throughout the story.  I have always loved the book of Isaiah but never really knew where it fit in.  Now, it all makes sense and the Bible is more alive to me than ever before! The stories in the Bible are way more captivating than anything we could ever see on TV or at the movies.  If you love stories with romance, war, violence, and dysfunctional relationships, then the Bible is for you!!



I was talking with my dear friend, Doris, last week. She is my new best friend at Sav-A-Life.   She suggested that I get a Chronological Bible so that I could read the Bible in historical order.  All the details, all the discussion, all the Scripture, all the events in order as it happened!  So, I went to Amazon immediately and ordered a New Kings James Version Chronological Study Bible and a New Living Translation One Year Chronological Bible.  It is like reading the Bible with fresh eyes and it has been amazing! God is so good to us to reveal Himself to us in new ways.






My daughter-in-law, Ashley and my husband, Rusty are on book one of the series and they love it.  My daughter, Mary Margaret, has finished the series and we were talking about it the other day.  These books have had a dramatic impact on her walk with Lord.  I am so thankful for good Christian authors. If you liked the Mark of the Lion Series by Francine Rivers, you will love Austin's books. It is very similar. Really, you will love Chronicles of the Kings, no matter what! A life lived for the Lord is just so sweet and such a joyful adventure.  To God be all the Glory!

"But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness." Psalm 86:15

I pray that God will reveal Himself to you in new and exciting ways this week!



Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Everything You Need to Know about Parenting!

The Lord put some wonderful things on Connie's heart to share with the group today.  Connie has one of the most precious hearts of anyone I have ever known.  We are all so blessed to call her friend.

Connie began her talk today with a wonderful quote from Parenting Today's Adolescents by Dennis and Barbara Rainey: (one of the best books ever, you need it in your library!)

"Every child should be helped to understand that life is a dynamic relationship with God that overflows in love to other people-a love that the Holy Spirit uses to reconcile the lost to God. EVERYTHING else, as good or innocuous as it may be, is only a prop to facilitating this mission. "

Connie reminded us that we are on a mission as a parent.  Our children are our mission field. Even the angels must envy the job we have as parents-the stewardship of a child's soul. It is an amazing calling, indeed.

If we can provide a godly environment in our homes, then our children will have a better foundation to grow in wisdom and godliness even though the world around them is crumbling morally.  Connie suggested setting biblical goals for your children.  Some examples would be helping them memorize short verses of scripture or responding to them and to your circumstances with timely scripture.  You may want to help them memorize the books of the Bible. There is a song for that, I think. You may want to spend a season discussing the Fruits of the Spirit or the Sermon on the Mount or the Book of James.  Whatever goals you set, pray those goals over them and for them.  Your home should be a little mini seminary!

We also discussed our greatest fears concerning our children.  God did not bless your quiver so you could walk around crying and trembling. Fear , my dears, is from your enemy. Fear is evil because it shows that we don't trust God completely in that area.  Connie shared that she had to mentally imagine some of her worst fears coming true to be set free from fear. Look your fear in the face and place the cross of Christ in front of it and it will cease to have dominion over you.   What if ( fill in the blank) happens?  Well, if it happens, it has first been sifted through the righteous right hand of your heavenly Father and since He is Redeemer, He will take that and use it for His glory and your good.  That's just how He is and He is the same, yesterday, today and forever. So it's all good. Whatever you walk through, He will not allow the flames to burn you or the waves to overcome you.  He will only give you what you can handle and His grace is enough. Period. The trials build your faith.  It is really kind of cool to be in a place where the only hope you have is if God gives you a miracle.  Surrender everything to the Lord and since He's faithful, it is not in His character to let you down! EVER!

We discussed apologizing to your kids and asking them to forgive you for your mistakes. You are not perfect and you will make mistakes everyday but by God's grace, your children will be fine.  Don't be proud with your kids. Let them see you humble yourself and admit you were wrong. It will endear them to you, trust me! God shows us grace and mercy and we should offer that mercy and grace to our kids.  They will then , in turn, offer it to you, when you mess up!

It is so important to relinquish control to the Lord.  Even though you may be with your child 24/7, you are in control of zilch. Our times are in God's hands.  All you can do is provide a godly home, unconditional love and pray about everything.  Your children will make mistakes and it is our job to help them get back up under the umbrella of protection by making things right with God and with you.   Provide a loving atmosphere to receive the Prodigal , over and over. Isn't that what God does with us?  There is nothing that we could ever do to separate us from the love of God and our kids need to know that we will love them no matter what they do. We love them because of who they are, not because of what they do or don't do.  This type of relationship lays a foundation for a great  relationship that they will want to preserve as they get older.

We touched a little on educating our children. Connie suggested beginning with the end in mind: at the end of your child's schooling, the question should not be "how much does he know?" it should be, "how much does he care?'

Connie brought several of her favorite books to share with us:
The Book of Virtues for Boys and Girls by Wiiliam J Bennett  I read this to mine, too!
 God's People Follow Him, Bible Nurture and Reader Series by Rod and Staff Publishers
The Educated Child by William J Bennett
"You Can't Make Me" by Cynthia Tobias  (for the strong willed child)

This was our last lesson on parenting, but if some issues or questions come up this week, write them down and we will talk about it next week.  The 16th and the 23rd of April are going to be on marriage. The 30th of April will be a brunch to wrap up our time together.  Write down any questions you may have about marriage and you can turn them in anonymously and we will discuss!

Love to all! Have a great week! JoAnne

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Words of wisdom from Tammy Hodges

Yesterday was an awesome day in small group! It is so good to see everyone each week and to see Tarayn, Laura Gail and Aimee growing and glowing!

We had such a special time with Tammy Hodges yesterday.  All of you had so many good questions for her on marriage and parenting.  Tammy shared many of her secrets for success in marriage and parenting but so much of her success has to be attributed to her precious relationship with the Lord.   Tammy's strong faith in the Lord has always been her anchor.

All of you had some really good questions for Tammy and she shared several points that are key in their family.   Family starts with marriage and the main priority of the family is for it to be marriage-centered and not child-centered.  While this may sound selfish at the outset, it is truly the best way to give your children the security they so desperately need. It also prevents them from believing they are entitled to everything as adults. Tammy encouraged us to make a date night with your husband a priority .  When your children are young, you really need that time to reconnect to your spouse at the end of the week and your husband needs to know that you respect him and appreciate him.

Tammy shared that she and Chris have done a combination of homeschool, private Christian school and public school.  I know that a lot of you want your answers now and you want to know what the future holds, but as Tammy said, you have to rely on God to lead the way for each child individually.  And, it may change from year to year because the children and their needs change. God will guide you and you must seek Him and keep your spiritual ears open for His direction concerning each step of the way.

We talked a lot about discipline.  This is another area where you need to seek God . What works for your oldest may not work for your youngest or your middle child.   We all agreed that whatever method of discipline you use, you must be consistent and the discipline must sting them .  It cannot be pain-free.  We all learn the most effectively from painful experiences.  Our goal becomes to avoid the actions that brought on the pain!


The truth of the matter of parenting is that God loves our children more than we do and when we, as parents, fall short and make mistakes, God's amazing, endless grace will take over and make all the crooked paths straight.  God knows your hearts ladies and He knows that you want to raise your children to be Kingdom movers and shakers and He is personally committed to seeing that happen.  The very best parenting book on the market is the one you already have...The Bible!  All the guidance you will ever need for life is found on those pages.

I pray that you will experience miracles all week long and enjoy precious times in God's presence this Easter week.

JoAnne

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Reclaiming the Family Dinner Table with Paula Deen's editor Alyce Head!

Hey friends! It has been a couple of weeks since I have blogged. I had surgery to put in two pins to fix my wrist on March 15th and I have finally learned how to type in a cast! The surgery went well but I covet your prayers for healing . I stay in the cast for eight more weeks and then more surgery to remove the pins . Then three-four months of physical therapy.

Last week, our group was so blessed to host the one, the only and my hero, Alyce Head.  Anyone who knows Alyce knows that when God was giving out gifts, she was in the very front of the line! She paints, she cooks, she sews. She is also working for Paula Deen's magazine.  She loves the Lord with such passion and she uses her creative gifts and energy to encourage women to make their home a place of blessing to all who dwell there.


Our main topic was the importance of the family dinner table in today's rushed and hurried world.
Alyce shared lots of statistics with us concerning the importance of healthy communication at the family dinner table.  Children who don't have a safe and secure place to share their hearts are much more likely to commit suicide, have a child outside of marriage, have eating disorders and have problems with drug and alcohol abuse.  Regular family meal times produce emotionally healthy children, better communication skills, higher self-esteem and better performance in school work.  They also learn some wonderful etiquette and table manners!


Alyce reminded us that the most important thing was getting everyone together.Do not stress over the meals or you will fail at developing this tradition. The meals do not have to be new every week or elegant.  She suggested that we set a regular menu such as taco bar night, pizzas, hamburgers, soup and sandwiches, breakfast for dinner and pasta.  Keep the pantry stocked and know ahead of time what will be for dinner that night. If you have a ball game, then pack sandwiches and have a meal together at the ballpark!  This is also SO much healthier!

As we have talked about before, we are really in a fight against the modern culture.  Society no longer values the  traditional family.  If America is going to survive as a nation, families have to survive.  If the enemy of our souls can get us convinced that we don't have time to sit down once a day with each other, we are going to lose the battle. Our children need to know that the world and it's values may be spinning out of control, but mama and daddy will be at the table at dinnertime and there will be a good supper, good conversation and lots of life-giving encouragement. Giving your children this kind of stability is a gift and a legacy.


There are also many games that can be played at the table.  Scripture cards can be placed there and memorized. Prayer can be caught and taught at the table.  Discipleship will take place as you discuss what happens each day.

My challenge for today: What does your dinnertime look like? What can you do to improve it and make it a blessing to your family?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

God’s vision for your family

We talked a lot about our vision for our family and even the vision that our parents or 
grandparents planted inside of us while we were growing up. What does God say about 
that vision? Make sure that in doing a personal assessment of the vision that it is not an 
inner vow, but a goal that you would like to set that provides freedom as well as security 
and not fear. 

Habakkuk 2:2-3 “And the Lord answered me and said, write the vision and engrave it so 
plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may read as he hastens by. For the vision 
is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end; it will not deceive or disappoint. 
Though it tarry, wait for it, because it will surely come; it will not be late on its appointed 
day.” 

Seek the Lord in praise and prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to confirm or rebirth a new 
vision for your family. Remember that every family will end up somewhere, but only a few 
will end up somewhere on purpose. What if the anchor that held your family steady for 
100 generations began with your mission statement because of your earnest 
determination to provide a compass, a rudder and a telescope to help them stay the 
course? 

The child rearing years seem so tedious and frustrating at times, but remember how 
quickly our children leave to create their own families. It seems like just yesterday that I 
was at home with my parents under their love and care. I want to share a poem with you 
that has shaped my mothering and nurturing of my precious babies. 

Speak to us of Children 
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of 
Children." 
And he said: 
Your children are not your children. 
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. 
They come through you but not from you, 
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. 
You may give them your love but not your thoughts. 
For they have their own thoughts. 
You may house their bodies but not their souls, 
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not 
even in your dreams. 
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. 
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. 
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. 
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you 
with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. 
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; 
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is 
stable. 
by Kahlil Gibran 

God is the author of the bow and the arrow. We only need to ask for His guidance and 
wisdom to hold the little arrows for such a short time. Even in mid flight, His winds can 
blow on the arrow and will safely deliver it to the target He intended even if we fall short. 
We talked a lot about sibling revolution versus sibling rivalry and the huge importance of 
the sibling relationship mimicking the marital relationship. It is the very first relationship 
that children have outside the authoritative relationship of mother and father. Even if 
you do not have more than one child, it is important to also teach the love and care of 
siblings to them so that they may impart their wisdom to their children for future 
generations. 

I am so thankful for having a mission statement that our family can refer back to 
especially when the tide seems overwhelming and the water is rough. So many times 
lately in taking care of my own mother I have been able to throw off the things that I have 
felt I needed, and place her in a position of honor and reverence because of a mission 
statement that the Holy Spirit helped Jason and I author almost five years ago. I pray 
that all of you will find the still small voice guiding you now and always. 

The Alexander Family 
Mission, Vision, And Values 
Our Mission 
We are a family that desires to know and serve God by giving away to others each gift He 
has equipped us with; by raising our children in a family that is both a refuge from the 
world and an arrow into the world; by helping each member to develop the Fruits of the 
Spirit, potential and calling; by passing down our belief in God and family with 
leadership, discipleship, humility and integrity. We Finish Strong! 
Our Vision 
We will grow our family through a compassionate ministry by using the gifts and talents 
God has placed within each one of us to help others see the value of their own spirit 
through God’s eyes. 
Our Values 
We are called to: 
Leadership: We will be the hands and feet of Jesus giving all that we have for the 
fulfillment of The Great Commission by integrating excellence and stewardship. 
Discipleship: We will walk daily with Christ to strengthen our spirit so that we may 
overflow God’s love to each one God places in our path. 
Integrity: We will live our lives in front of the audience of heaven with an eternal 
perspective and our eyes on Jesus. 
Humility: We will maintain the strength of our family in a quiet confidence and 
contentment while being fully aware that the Holy Spirit lives and operates in each one 
of us. 

Family Verse: Ephesians 3:17-20 
Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow 
down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, 
as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May 
you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you 
will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. NLT

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Your Calling as a Mom!

Hey girls!  We started last Monday with the question, "is all well in your home?"  Maybe it is time to do a review of our job description!

2 Timothy 3:1-5 describes the days that we are living in right now.  We are fighting against those sins in our families.  Here's a scary thought: 85% of your child's character is developed between the ages of 0-5.

What's a mother to do? We need to realize that being a full-time wife and mother is a calling that requires a high level of commitment, the right perspective (think eternity) and a Biblical value system.  What calling could be more significant or more glorifying to God?  As an older mom, I have to say that I would do it all over again.  It has been the delight of my heart.

Every day, you are making a permanent difference in your children's lives.  As a mom, you:

Impart values
Stimulate creativity
Develop compassion
Modify weaknesses and
Nurture strengths

God wants to use your ministry to your family to influence the world for Christ.  Our little ones are disciples in our midst! You may be raising the next Chris Tomlin or Mother Theresa!

God commands us to minister to our children in the following verses...please look them up, highlight them and put them on a card to memorize!
Deut 4:9 and Deut 6:2-7
Ps 78:5-8
2 Tim 1:5 and 2 Tim 3:15

God just loves to see a family serving Him and bringing Him glory throughout the generations!  You are leaving a legacy and it is important to know what type of legacy you want to leave.  Make sure you are purposefully and intentionally leaving a godly legacy.  Don't be at the mercy of the culture and leave a legacy by default!

Remind yourself that you daily contribute to the cause of Christ through your children. You will touch few lives with more intensity than the children God has placed in your home!

Do you have a constructive , long range vision for your children? Where do you see your children/family in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? 40 years?  Next Monday, Connie is going to share in great detail concerning family vision.   Here are some ideas that will jump start your thinking towards vision!

Begin with what God values most!

1-Relationship with God and with others!

2-Character
Matt. 20:26-28
1 Sam 16:7
Luke 16:15
1 Pet 3:4
What are your goals for your children? Achievements for outward show (pleasing man) or developing his inner character (pleasing God)

3-Spend time with you children.  Quality time is a myth. Spend tons of time with them. Who gets the best of you? Is it your family? Be kinder to your children. Here is a quote I love from Wilfred Peterson :

"We give of ourselves when we give gifts of the heart-love, kindness, joy, understanding, sympathy, tolerance, forgiveness. We give of ourselves when we give gifts of the mind-ideas, dreams, purposes, ideals, principles, plans, inventions, projects, poetry.We give of ourselves when we give gifts of words-encouragement, inspiration, guidance."

Emerson said it well- "Rings and jewels are not gifts but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of thyself."

Here are a few suggestions for you:

Don't take your children for granted.
Listen to your child and consider his feelings and ideas.
Validate their feelings. Don't you like it when people validate yours?
Give them recognition and compliments that are age appropriate.  No empty praise, like, "you're a pretty little girl. "
Accept and love them unconditionally.  That is how God parents us.
Avoid at all costs, comparing them to other children.
Discipline them fairly and privately.
Play with them.
Forgive them and don't ever be too proud to ask for their forgiveness when you wrong them. They need to see that modeled.


I am not sure who said this but I like it:  "Hold a crown a couple of inches above their heads and encourage them to grow into it. "  Cast a vision for your child and help them move towards the goal.  If you don't set the vision, the world will certainly be glad to do it!

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you!  2 Cor. 13:14

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Meet Rachel Stafford, the Hands Free Mama!

Yesterday, we had the awesome privilege of hearing from Rachel Stafford of the Hands Free Mama movement!  Just 18 months ago, while running,  Rachel had a breakthrough moment with God and realized that she was "doing it all"but it was costing her everything. Too many "good" things were coming her way and she had no time left to pursue the things that really mattered.  She had spread herself so thin and knew she was missing out on so much.  She cried out to God for help and He said to her, "if you let go of the distractions of life, I will let you experience joy, peace, and connection with me and with others every day. "  She listened to God and her life has never been the same.


She has started a revolution and after hearing her speak yesterday, I consider myself to be President of her fan club!!! Her passion is to help women take back their lives by letting go of the modern day distractions to focus on what really matters.  She challenged us to spend more time with God so that we can learn about ourselves and our purpose for being on the planet.  There are so many large (but good) distractions in life, such as volunteering in your church, your school and your community.  When asked to do a job, pray about it. See if you were specifically made to do that job, or is it for someone else? Don't be afraid to say "no." If you say "no",  the person asking will simply move to the next person on the list!  If you don't protect your time, who will?  Rachel asked us to answer this question for ourselves : " What must I do in my lifetime before I die? " Smart girl, she is. She is viewing the end from the beginning with her eyes on the prize.  Her answer to the question is to be a present mom and to use her God-given gifts to help people.

What is a present mom?  A present mom is a "hands free" mom. Put down the cell phone, put down the tv remote, close the laptop and make eye contact with your children and your spouse!  Be free of the compulsion to check all of your devices and updates! Turn off the notifications! Rachel speaks in elementary schools and it broke our hearts yesterday when she shared the stories of young children who felt so neglected because their parents preferred technology over them!!  Put away your "to-do" list, get on some old clothes, go outside with your children and play!  Think of your death bed.  Do you want your children to remember you as a good tweeter or facebooker or as a mom who shared her time and her life with you?

I apologize here if I am sounding a little harsh. I know a lot of you moms are so young and have grown up with technology but take it from an older mom.  I would give my right arm to be able to go back to the Cove, when my children were little and play outside with them.  Once those days are gone, you can't get them back.  You can tweet, facebook, blog, cook, sew, volunteer, read, etc when you are an empty nester.  I am looking at my nest being empty in 17 months and let's just say, that I am not doing too well. In fact, I am really struggling with it.

Rachel left us with a challenge. Here it is. Get a piece of paper. Write two columns.  On one side write "I am farthest from grasping what matters when...."  On the other side write "I am closest to grasping what matters when...."   I pray that this will be a day of revelation for you. Start today and make a little progress every day!   Rachel's blog can be found at www.handsfreemama.com  She has hundreds of entries with hundreds of suggestions for becoming "hands free." Read it today and start your journey!  Thank you Rachel, for being a light to thousands of mamas who want to pursue what really matters!


I pray today that your life will be as wonderful as it was in the mind of God when He created you.  Remember, you don't have to be perfect to be wonderful!

Every blessing and lots of love,
JoAnne



s

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hearing from the Lord and a word about words

Happy dreary day to my girls!  I just want to get a blanket, make hot chocolate and take a nap!  But that will come later. I want to get these notes out to ya'll and especially to Jessica who missed yesterday! Hope Sally Caroline is feeling much better!

Yesterday was a great day in our group. I really felt the presence of the Lord in our discussions.  This group has been so precious because you all love the Lord and are so vulnerable and open with each other.  I always look forward to Mondays.

We finished our talk on prayer yesterday.  We learned that God is personally committed to revealing Himself to you.  As we spend time in His presence, our questions about life and our circumstances grow dim in His glorious light.  We are changed when we stay there in the light. Our circumstances may not ever change, but our perspectives will because of time spent with the Lord.  Your solitude with the Lord directly affects the ministry and service that you are able to do.  If you have not met with the Lord, your ministry will be full of your flesh.  We need to be filled up with the Holy Spirit so that we will overflow into the lives of others.

Solitude qualified several heroes of the faith for service.  Moses was in Midian for 40 years before he encountered the burning bush. Joseph was is Pharoah's prison for years before he was called up to interpret a dream.  David was annointed to be King as a shepherd boy and was not appointed king until he was 40.  In their times of solitude, they learned that they were to be led by the Lord and not by their own agendas.  Their calling (just like yours) was too great to be left to their own agendas.  Solitary time with the Lord readies us for all the chaos of life.


Here are some verses on solitude in scripture:

Prov. 8:34-35
Ps. 25:9
Ps. 73:24
Ps. 32:8
Ps. 46:10
Is. 30:15 (one of my faves)

As you meet with the Lord, He is committed to counseling you, Spirit to spirit, based on the following verses:

Jer. 6:16
Ps. 91:1
Matt. 11:28
Mark 6:31
Is. 50:4
Jer. 1:12
Ps. 23:2-3 (A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by Phillip Keller is a great book!)

The key to hearing from the Lord is to quiet your heart, be still and listen. Read gently with no agenda.  Clear your mind and don't be anxious.  Just listen with your spirit.  Ask the Lord to show you and He will. Write down what he says.

John 16:14 tells us that the Holy Spirit is the teacher in the lives of Christians. Under his guidance, the words of biblical revelation become a living word for each of us. As we study the scriptures, the Spirit gives us insight into their meanings. The Holy Spirit is with you every time you study the Word leading you into all truth.

We had a really thorough discussion of spiritual warfare prayer based on Eph. 6:10-18.  It is crucial to make much of our Lord and little of our enemy.  Satan is real and his m. o.  is to kill, steal and destroy, but everything that he brings against us MUST bow to the name of Jesus, Phil. 2: 9-11.  Here are some good books on spiritual warfare:

Prayers that Outwit the Enemy   Chuck D. Pierce This book is very good
Prayer and Spiritual Warfare  E. M. Bounds  Every book by Bounds is outstanding

So, over the last few weeks, we have learned that a true disciple of Christ:
*enforces the victory he has on a consistent basis
*lives in the presence of God through the Holy Spirit, and
*prays intentionally

Next, we shifted over to a quick study on our words!

You create your world with the words that you speak.  2 Cor. 5:20 tells us that we are Christ's ambassadors.  That is a very huge deal. We speak for the King of Heaven...we let Him speak through us.

God SPOKE creation into being.  Jesus changed lives with just a few words: "Lazarus, come out!", "Be clean", "Get up! Pick up your mat and walk" just to name a few!

Our words are of utmost importance because we either speak life or death every single time we open our mouths.  We can change lives with our words, just like Jesus did.  He said in Jn. 14:12 that we are going to do even greater things than he did because we have the power of the Holy Spirit. Here are a few scriptures on the power of words:

Prov. 18:21
Rom 4:17
Matt. 12:34
Prov. 4:23
Prov. 12:18
Prov. 31:26
Eph. 4:29
Matt. 12: 36-37
James 3: 9-10

Words and conversation reflect the spiritual condition of the speaker. A sin-dominated person will utter evil; the good person devoted to and saved by God will utter good. On judgment day our words spoken in our lifetime will truly reflect who we are.  Nothing should escape our mouth that is not praise to God in some way. Once a word is spoken and heard, it cannot be retrieved. Its effect will run its often destructive course.  I highly recommend The Power of Your Words by Robert Morris.

Next week, we welcome Rachel Stafford of Hands Free Mama as our speaker.  Her blog can be found here.  She is going to bring us a great word! If any of you want to stay for prayer ministry after any of our meetings, Connie and I would love that.

In closing, I want to bless you with victory over the enemy, from Sylvia Gunter's Blessing your Spirit book.....

Sweet girls of mine, I bless you with the joy of regularly seeing Satan's plans to destroy people turned upside down and God bringing good out of painful circumstances. I bless you with seeing the problems Satan brings into the world used by God to reveal new wisdom, grace, strength, and freedom , as God makes a public spectacle of his enemy and yours. I bless you with God's perspective on pain and suffering. I bless you with partnering with God for his purposes, using problems as a platform to see him work in ways that are unmistakably God. I bless you in the name of the One who triumphed on the cross.

Have a wonderful week! J

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Our Daily Walk with Christ....abiding in the Father's love for us

Today was a great day in the small group but we missed Catherine, Meredith and Karen! Just read this blog post to catch up and hopefully, all the sickness will be gone and we will be back together next week.

We started off today with a quick you tube video by Graham Cooke.  It is called The Missing Piece, Part 1. It is only four or five minutes long, so watch it if you can. Graham Cooke is one of my favorite pastors and teachers.   John 15:5-8 was our basic text for today.  God intends for us to bear fruit and this is possible only by living in constant, prayerful relation to Christ.  We need to understand what is important to Him and that must be the foundation of the relationship. Don't bring your religious "to do" list to Jesus and ask Him to bless it.  Anything done without abiding in Christ does not count towards the fruit. It will be thrown out like wood, hay and straw and it will not last for eternity.  Fruit-bearing depends on remaining in Christ and drawing from His sustaining grace.  We must let the Father, the Master Gardener cut wrong practices and habits out of our lives so we can bear much fruit. Branches not in Christ die and are placed in the fire to burn.  God is refining us so that we will be transformed into the image of Christ.













                     


 The foundation of the abiding relationship is God's love for us. Not our love for God.  Christ's message, death and resurrection is founded on His love for us.  Our love for God is often undependable and changes in intensity.  We don't have to strive in our flesh to abide in Him.  All we have to do is to live intentionally in His love for us! It is all about Him...not us. It is all about who He is.   1 John 4:16-18 says that to be in Christ is to be in God and by being in Christ, we will live a lifestyle that is characterized by divine love.  Pray to know and experience more and more of the depths of His love.  His love will change us from the inside out.  Eph. 3:18 tells us that Jesus loves us more than we can begin to understand.  Ask the Lord to give you a heart that longs to be one with Him.  You can rest and rejoice that this abiding relationship is founded on God's love for us . The only thing you need to do is intentionally stay, remain and rest there.  Living in this posture should change your perspective on life.  Circumstances may still be bad, but you see them through the lens of His love.

We talked a lot about how to enter into this relationship.  It does not happen just because you get up early and read the one-year-Bible and a devotional reading.  It is a very intentional act of proclaiming who God is, committing your day to Him, confessing your sin to Him and enjoying His presence.  It is resting in Him and receiving His love. It is being very still and quiet and listening to what He has to say to you.  To enter into this relationship should not cause a lot of stress for you.  It is fine to get up, make your coffee, put on the praise music and just be still before the Lord.  As you start to wake up and pray some of these verses, do so very gently and let the Lord lead you in the direction He wants to take you for the morning.  Some days will be filled with tears. Some will be filled with exhuberant joy. Some days He will just hold you close.  It won't always look the same. The Holy Spirit knows what you need for the day and He does a great job of guiding us.  When you start your day, be sure and call your Spirit to the fore front and tell your soul and your body to sit down,  and that the Spirit man will be in charge today!

In the morning, I like to start the day by declaring and proclaiming who He is and by blessing His name.  Some verses that help me with this are listed below: I have all of these verses on a spiral flip notebook.
Ps. 92:1-2
Ps 118:24
Ps 89:1-2
Lam 3: 21-23
Ps 33:22
Ps 32:10
Ps 84:11
Ps 147:11
Prov 9:10

I commit my day to Him by declaring these verses....be sure to say all of these out loud!
Jn 15:7-8
Ps 32:8
Col 3:2 Col 3:17 Col 3:23-24
1 Cor 10:31
Prov 16:3
Gal 2:20
Gal 5:16

Next move on to a time of confession. Ask God to reveal each and every sin so that you may confess it to Him.
Ps 139:23-24
1 Jn 1:9
Prov 28:13
This is also a great time for positive confession. Confess out loud who you are in Christ.
Read Song of Solomon 2:15.  The little foxes are weeds.  Ask yourself "what is the fastest growing weed in my life?"  If you continue to confess the same sin over and over, that just might be a weed that needs to go!

Next, it is time to move into intercession.  Pray for the things that are on God's heart.  Pray for His kingdom to come and His will to be done . Ask God for an open heaven over certain situations, relationships, cities, nations, the lost, etc. Pray God's Word and insert a name in the verse!  As I pray for my family everyday, I use several different resources.  I love Prayer Portions by Sylvia Gunter and have used it for years. I also pray the Prayer of Jabez (1 Chron. 4:10) from a prayer book by Sylvia. She has written 31 different prayers based on that verse. One for each day of the month. It is also very important to put on the full armor of God for the day.  It can be found in Eph. 6:10-18.

I enjoy praying from Stormie Omartian's books, too.  I highly recommend the Power of a Praying Wife and the Power of a Praying Parent.   It was suggested today that we buy the Power of a Praying Husband for our husbands for Valentine's Day! I also pray from Praying the Scriptures for your Children and Praying the Scriptures for your Teenagers by Jodie Berndt. There are so many great prayer books out there. The main thing is to pray the Word.  I pray Psalm 91 over my family every day.  Some other devotion books that really challenge me and bless me are My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers (updated version) and Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.  Streams in the Desert by Mrs. Charles Cowan is an awesome little book, too.  Come Away My Beloved by Frances Roberts (today's language) is another favorite of mine.  Blessing your Spirit by Sylvia Gunter has probably changed my life more than any other book I have ever read.  It is simply amazing.  Sylvia is very annointed.

Liz also mentioned the CD "Home" by Laura Woodley for soaking in His presence.  I use Pandora and sometimes I use www.soaking.net  Connie shared the website for the personal promise Bible. This company actually prints a Bible for you with your name inserted into the verses! So cool!

When you finish praying, it is very important to thank God for the complete confidence that we have in Him based on 1 Jn 5:14-15  All believers have the guidance of the Holy Spirit when they pray. God will answer when the Christian asks according to His will.

I know how tired we are when it is bed time and it is hard to have a meaningful prayer time when you are bone tired and sleepy.  No matter how tired you are, be sure to thank God at the end of the day for His protection, His provision and His faithfulness in your family that day. It is so important to be thankful and to tell him how grateful you are for His presence in your life.

Next week , we will finish up prayer and watch a Graham Cooke DVD.  I pray that the Lord will bless your marriage through the marriage conference this weekend.

Every blessing,
JoAnne