God’s vision for your family

We talked a lot about our vision for our family and even the vision that our parents or 

grandparents planted inside of us while we were growing up. What does God say about 

that vision? Make sure that in doing a personal assessment of the vision that it is not an 

inner vow, but a goal that you would like to set that provides freedom as well as security 

and not fear. 

Habakkuk 2:2-3 “And the Lord answered me and said, write the vision and engrave it so 

plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may read as he hastens by. For the vision 

is yet for an appointed time and it hastens to the end; it will not deceive or disappoint. 

Though it tarry, wait for it, because it will surely come; it will not be late on its appointed 

day.” 

Seek the Lord in praise and prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to confirm or rebirth a new 

vision for your family. Remember that every family will end up somewhere, but only a few 

will end up somewhere on purpose. What if the anchor that held your family steady for 

100 generations began with your mission statement because of your earnest 

determination to provide a compass, a rudder and a telescope to help them stay the 

course? 

The child rearing years seem so tedious and frustrating at times, but remember how 

quickly our children leave to create their own families. It seems like just yesterday that I 

was at home with my parents under their love and care. I want to share a poem with you 

that has shaped my mothering and nurturing of my precious babies. 

Speak to us of Children 

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of 

Children." 

And he said: 

Your children are not your children. 

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. 

They come through you but not from you, 

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. 

You may give them your love but not your thoughts. 

For they have their own thoughts. 

You may house their bodies but not their souls, 

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not 

even in your dreams. 

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. 

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. 

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. 

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you 

with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. 

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; 

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is 

stable. 

by Kahlil Gibran 

God is the author of the bow and the arrow. We only need to ask for His guidance and 

wisdom to hold the little arrows for such a short time. Even in mid flight, His winds can 

blow on the arrow and will safely deliver it to the target He intended even if we fall short. 

We talked a lot about sibling revolution versus sibling rivalry and the huge importance of 

the sibling relationship mimicking the marital relationship. It is the very first relationship 

that children have outside the authoritative relationship of mother and father. Even if 

you do not have more than one child, it is important to also teach the love and care of 

siblings to them so that they may impart their wisdom to their children for future 

generations. 

I am so thankful for having a mission statement that our family can refer back to 

especially when the tide seems overwhelming and the water is rough. So many times 

lately in taking care of my own mother I have been able to throw off the things that I have 

felt I needed, and place her in a position of honor and reverence because of a mission 

statement that the Holy Spirit helped Jason and I author almost five years ago. I pray 

that all of you will find the still small voice guiding you now and always. 

The Alexander Family 

Mission, Vision, And Values 

Our Mission 

We are a family that desires to know and serve God by giving away to others each gift He 

has equipped us with; by raising our children in a family that is both a refuge from the 

world and an arrow into the world; by helping each member to develop the Fruits of the 

Spirit, potential and calling; by passing down our belief in God and family with 

leadership, discipleship, humility and integrity. We Finish Strong! 

Our Vision 

We will grow our family through a compassionate ministry by using the gifts and talents 

God has placed within each one of us to help others see the value of their own spirit 

through God’s eyes. 

Our Values 

We are called to: 

Leadership: We will be the hands and feet of Jesus giving all that we have for the 

fulfillment of The Great Commission by integrating excellence and stewardship. 

Discipleship: We will walk daily with Christ to strengthen our spirit so that we may 

overflow God’s love to each one God places in our path. 

Integrity: We will live our lives in front of the audience of heaven with an eternal 

perspective and our eyes on Jesus. 

Humility: We will maintain the strength of our family in a quiet confidence and 

contentment while being fully aware that the Holy Spirit lives and operates in each one 

of us. 

Family Verse: Ephesians 3:17-20 

Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow 

down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, 

as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May 

you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you 

will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. NLT

Your Calling as a Mom!

Hey girls!  We started last Monday with the question, "is all well in your home?"  Maybe it is time to do a review of our job description!

2 Timothy 3:1-5 describes the days that we are living in right now.  We are fighting against those sins in our families.  Here's a scary thought: 85% of your child's character is developed between the ages of 0-5.

What's a mother to do? We need to realize that being a full-time wife and mother is a calling that requires a high level of commitment, the right perspective (think eternity) and a Biblical value system.  What calling could be more significant or more glorifying to God?  As an older mom, I have to say that I would do it all over again.  It has been the delight of my heart.

Every day, you are making a permanent difference in your children's lives.  As a mom, you:

Impart values
Stimulate creativity
Develop compassion
Modify weaknesses and
Nurture strengths

God wants to use your ministry to your family to influence the world for Christ.  Our little ones are disciples in our midst! You may be raising the next Chris Tomlin or Mother Theresa!

God commands us to minister to our children in the following verses...please look them up, highlight them and put them on a card to memorize!
Deut 4:9 and Deut 6:2-7
Ps 78:5-8
2 Tim 1:5 and 2 Tim 3:15

God just loves to see a family serving Him and bringing Him glory throughout the generations!  You are leaving a legacy and it is important to know what type of legacy you want to leave.  Make sure you are purposefully and intentionally leaving a godly legacy.  Don't be at the mercy of the culture and leave a legacy by default!

Remind yourself that you daily contribute to the cause of Christ through your children. You will touch few lives with more intensity than the children God has placed in your home!

Do you have a constructive , long range vision for your children? Where do you see your children/family in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? 40 years?  Next Monday, Connie is going to share in great detail concerning family vision.   Here are some ideas that will jump start your thinking towards vision!

Begin with what God values most!

1-Relationship with God and with others!

2-Character
Matt. 20:26-28
1 Sam 16:7
Luke 16:15
1 Pet 3:4
What are your goals for your children? Achievements for outward show (pleasing man) or developing his inner character (pleasing God)

3-Spend time with you children.  Quality time is a myth. Spend tons of time with them. Who gets the best of you? Is it your family? Be kinder to your children. Here is a quote I love from Wilfred Peterson :

"We give of ourselves when we give gifts of the heart-love, kindness, joy, understanding, sympathy, tolerance, forgiveness. We give of ourselves when we give gifts of the mind-ideas, dreams, purposes, ideals, principles, plans, inventions, projects, poetry.We give of ourselves when we give gifts of words-encouragement, inspiration, guidance."

Emerson said it well- "Rings and jewels are not gifts but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of thyself."

Here are a few suggestions for you:

Don't take your children for granted.
Listen to your child and consider his feelings and ideas.
Validate their feelings. Don't you like it when people validate yours?
Give them recognition and compliments that are age appropriate.  No empty praise, like, "you're a pretty little girl. "
Accept and love them unconditionally.  That is how God parents us.
Avoid at all costs, comparing them to other children.
Discipline them fairly and privately.
Play with them.
Forgive them and don't ever be too proud to ask for their forgiveness when you wrong them. They need to see that modeled.

I am not sure who said this but I like it:  "Hold a crown a couple of inches above their heads and encourage them to grow into it. "  Cast a vision for your child and help them move towards the goal.  If you don't set the vision, the world will certainly be glad to do it!

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you!  2 Cor. 13:14

Meet Rachel Stafford, the Hands Free Mama!

Yesterday, we had the awesome privilege of hearing from Rachel Stafford of the Hands Free Mama movement!  Just 18 months ago, while running,  Rachel had a breakthrough moment with God and realized that she was "doing it all"but it was costing her everything. Too many "good" things were coming her way and she had no time left to pursue the things that really mattered.  She had spread herself so thin and knew she was missing out on so much.  She cried out to God for help and He said to her, "if you let go of the distractions of life, I will let you experience joy, peace, and connection with me and with others every day. "  She listened to God and her life has never been the same.

She has started a revolution and after hearing her speak yesterday, I consider myself to be President of her fan club!!! Her passion is to help women take back their lives by letting go of the modern day distractions to focus on what really matters.  She challenged us to spend more time with God so that we can learn about ourselves and our purpose for being on the planet.  There are so many large (but good) distractions in life, such as volunteering in your church, your school and your community.  When asked to do a job, pray about it. See if you were specifically made to do that job, or is it for someone else? Don't be afraid to say "no." If you say "no",  the person asking will simply move to the next person on the list!  If you don't protect your time, who will?  Rachel asked us to answer this question for ourselves : " What must I do in my lifetime before I die? " Smart girl, she is. She is viewing the end from the beginning with her eyes on the prize.  Her answer to the question is to be a present mom and to use her God-given gifts to help people.

What is a present mom?  A present mom is a "hands free" mom. Put down the cell phone, put down the tv remote, close the laptop and make eye contact with your children and your spouse!  Be free of the compulsion to check all of your devices and updates! Turn off the notifications! Rachel speaks in elementary schools and it broke our hearts yesterday when she shared the stories of young children who felt so neglected because their parents preferred technology over them!!  Put away your "to-do" list, get on some old clothes, go outside with your children and play!  Think of your death bed.  Do you want your children to remember you as a good tweeter or facebooker or as a mom who shared her time and her life with you?

I apologize here if I am sounding a little harsh. I know a lot of you moms are so young and have grown up with technology but take it from an older mom.  I would give my right arm to be able to go back to the Cove, when my children were little and play outside with them.  Once those days are gone, you can't get them back.  You can tweet, facebook, blog, cook, sew, volunteer, read, etc when you are an empty nester.  I am looking at my nest being empty in 17 months and let's just say, that I am not doing too well. In fact, I am really struggling with it.

Rachel left us with a challenge. Here it is. Get a piece of paper. Write two columns.  On one side write "I am farthest from grasping what matters when...."  On the other side write "I am closest to grasping what matters when...."   I pray that this will be a day of revelation for you. Start today and make a little progress every day!   Rachel's blog can be found at www.handsfreemama.com  She has hundreds of entries with hundreds of suggestions for becoming "hands free." Read it today and start your journey!  Thank you Rachel, for being a light to thousands of mamas who want to pursue what really matters!

I pray today that your life will be as wonderful as it was in the mind of God when He created you.  Remember, you don't have to be perfect to be wonderful!

Every blessing and lots of love,
JoAnne



s