Everything You Need to Know about Parenting!

The Lord put some wonderful things on Connie's heart to share with the group today.  Connie has one of the most precious hearts of anyone I have ever known.  We are all so blessed to call her friend.

Connie began her talk today with a wonderful quote from Parenting Today's Adolescents by Dennis and Barbara Rainey: (one of the best books ever, you need it in your library!)

"Every child should be helped to understand that life is a dynamic relationship with God that overflows in love to other people-a love that the Holy Spirit uses to reconcile the lost to God. EVERYTHING else, as good or innocuous as it may be, is only a prop to facilitating this mission. "

Connie reminded us that we are on a mission as a parent.  Our children are our mission field. Even the angels must envy the job we have as parents-the stewardship of a child's soul. It is an amazing calling, indeed.

If we can provide a godly environment in our homes, then our children will have a better foundation to grow in wisdom and godliness even though the world around them is crumbling morally.  Connie suggested setting biblical goals for your children.  Some examples would be helping them memorize short verses of scripture or responding to them and to your circumstances with timely scripture.  You may want to help them memorize the books of the Bible. There is a song for that, I think. You may want to spend a season discussing the Fruits of the Spirit or the Sermon on the Mount or the Book of James.  Whatever goals you set, pray those goals over them and for them.  Your home should be a little mini seminary!

We also discussed our greatest fears concerning our children.  God did not bless your quiver so you could walk around crying and trembling. Fear , my dears, is from your enemy. Fear is evil because it shows that we don't trust God completely in that area.  Connie shared that she had to mentally imagine some of her worst fears coming true to be set free from fear. Look your fear in the face and place the cross of Christ in front of it and it will cease to have dominion over you.   What if ( fill in the blank) happens?  Well, if it happens, it has first been sifted through the righteous right hand of your heavenly Father and since He is Redeemer, He will take that and use it for His glory and your good.  That's just how He is and He is the same, yesterday, today and forever. So it's all good. Whatever you walk through, He will not allow the flames to burn you or the waves to overcome you.  He will only give you what you can handle and His grace is enough. Period. The trials build your faith.  It is really kind of cool to be in a place where the only hope you have is if God gives you a miracle.  Surrender everything to the Lord and since He's faithful, it is not in His character to let you down! EVER!

We discussed apologizing to your kids and asking them to forgive you for your mistakes. You are not perfect and you will make mistakes everyday but by God's grace, your children will be fine.  Don't be proud with your kids. Let them see you humble yourself and admit you were wrong. It will endear them to you, trust me! God shows us grace and mercy and we should offer that mercy and grace to our kids.  They will then , in turn, offer it to you, when you mess up!

It is so important to relinquish control to the Lord.  Even though you may be with your child 24/7, you are in control of zilch. Our times are in God's hands.  All you can do is provide a godly home, unconditional love and pray about everything.  Your children will make mistakes and it is our job to help them get back up under the umbrella of protection by making things right with God and with you.   Provide a loving atmosphere to receive the Prodigal , over and over. Isn't that what God does with us?  There is nothing that we could ever do to separate us from the love of God and our kids need to know that we will love them no matter what they do. We love them because of who they are, not because of what they do or don't do.  This type of relationship lays a foundation for a great  relationship that they will want to preserve as they get older.

We touched a little on educating our children. Connie suggested beginning with the end in mind: at the end of your child's schooling, the question should not be "how much does he know?" it should be, "how much does he care?'

Connie brought several of her favorite books to share with us:
The Book of Virtues for Boys and Girls by Wiiliam J Bennett  I read this to mine, too!
 God's People Follow Him, Bible Nurture and Reader Series by Rod and Staff Publishers
The Educated Child by William J Bennett
"You Can't Make Me" by Cynthia Tobias  (for the strong willed child)

This was our last lesson on parenting, but if some issues or questions come up this week, write them down and we will talk about it next week.  The 16th and the 23rd of April are going to be on marriage. The 30th of April will be a brunch to wrap up our time together.  Write down any questions you may have about marriage and you can turn them in anonymously and we will discuss!

Love to all! Have a great week! JoAnne

Words of wisdom from Tammy Hodges

Yesterday was an awesome day in small group! It is so good to see everyone each week and to see Tarayn, Laura Gail and Aimee growing and glowing!

We had such a special time with Tammy Hodges yesterday.  All of you had so many good questions for her on marriage and parenting.  Tammy shared many of her secrets for success in marriage and parenting but so much of her success has to be attributed to her precious relationship with the Lord.   Tammy's strong faith in the Lord has always been her anchor.

All of you had some really good questions for Tammy and she shared several points that are key in their family.   Family starts with marriage and the main priority of the family is for it to be marriage-centered and not child-centered.  While this may sound selfish at the outset, it is truly the best way to give your children the security they so desperately need. It also prevents them from believing they are entitled to everything as adults. Tammy encouraged us to make a date night with your husband a priority .  When your children are young, you really need that time to reconnect to your spouse at the end of the week and your husband needs to know that you respect him and appreciate him.

Tammy shared that she and Chris have done a combination of homeschool, private Christian school and public school.  I know that a lot of you want your answers now and you want to know what the future holds, but as Tammy said, you have to rely on God to lead the way for each child individually.  And, it may change from year to year because the children and their needs change. God will guide you and you must seek Him and keep your spiritual ears open for His direction concerning each step of the way.

We talked a lot about discipline.  This is another area where you need to seek God . What works for your oldest may not work for your youngest or your middle child.   We all agreed that whatever method of discipline you use, you must be consistent and the discipline must sting them .  It cannot be pain-free.  We all learn the most effectively from painful experiences.  Our goal becomes to avoid the actions that brought on the pain!

The truth of the matter of parenting is that God loves our children more than we do and when we, as parents, fall short and make mistakes, God's amazing, endless grace will take over and make all the crooked paths straight.  God knows your hearts ladies and He knows that you want to raise your children to be Kingdom movers and shakers and He is personally committed to seeing that happen.  The very best parenting book on the market is the one you already have...The Bible!  All the guidance you will ever need for life is found on those pages.

I pray that you will experience miracles all week long and enjoy precious times in God's presence this Easter week.

JoAnne

Reclaiming the Family Dinner Table with Paula Deen's editor Alyce Head!

Hey friends! It has been a couple of weeks since I have blogged. I had surgery to put in two pins to fix my wrist on March 15th and I have finally learned how to type in a cast! The surgery went well but I covet your prayers for healing . I stay in the cast for eight more weeks and then more surgery to remove the pins . Then three-four months of physical therapy.

Last week, our group was so blessed to host the one, the only and my hero, Alyce Head.  Anyone who knows Alyce knows that when God was giving out gifts, she was in the very front of the line! She paints, she cooks, she sews. She is also working for Paula Deen's magazine.  She loves the Lord with such passion and she uses her creative gifts and energy to encourage women to make their home a place of blessing to all who dwell there.

Our main topic was the importance of the family dinner table in today's rushed and hurried world.
Alyce shared lots of statistics with us concerning the importance of healthy communication at the family dinner table.  Children who don't have a safe and secure place to share their hearts are much more likely to commit suicide, have a child outside of marriage, have eating disorders and have problems with drug and alcohol abuse.  Regular family meal times produce emotionally healthy children, better communication skills, higher self-esteem and better performance in school work.  They also learn some wonderful etiquette and table manners!

Alyce reminded us that the most important thing was getting everyone together.Do not stress over the meals or you will fail at developing this tradition. The meals do not have to be new every week or elegant.  She suggested that we set a regular menu such as taco bar night, pizzas, hamburgers, soup and sandwiches, breakfast for dinner and pasta.  Keep the pantry stocked and know ahead of time what will be for dinner that night. If you have a ball game, then pack sandwiches and have a meal together at the ballpark!  This is also SO much healthier!

As we have talked about before, we are really in a fight against the modern culture.  Society no longer values the  traditional family.  If America is going to survive as a nation, families have to survive.  If the enemy of our souls can get us convinced that we don't have time to sit down once a day with each other, we are going to lose the battle. Our children need to know that the world and it's values may be spinning out of control, but mama and daddy will be at the table at dinnertime and there will be a good supper, good conversation and lots of life-giving encouragement. Giving your children this kind of stability is a gift and a legacy.


There are also many games that can be played at the table.  Scripture cards can be placed there and memorized. Prayer can be caught and taught at the table.  Discipleship will take place as you discuss what happens each day.

My challenge for today: What does your dinnertime look like? What can you do to improve it and make it a blessing to your family?