Connie began her talk today with a wonderful quote from Parenting Today's Adolescents by Dennis and Barbara Rainey: (one of the best books ever, you need it in your library!)
"Every child should be helped to understand that life is a dynamic relationship with God that overflows in love to other people-a love that the Holy Spirit uses to reconcile the lost to God. EVERYTHING else, as good or innocuous as it may be, is only a prop to facilitating this mission. "
Connie reminded us that we are on a mission as a parent. Our children are our mission field. Even the angels must envy the job we have as parents-the stewardship of a child's soul. It is an amazing calling, indeed.
If we can provide a godly environment in our homes, then our children will have a better foundation to grow in wisdom and godliness even though the world around them is crumbling morally. Connie suggested setting biblical goals for your children. Some examples would be helping them memorize short verses of scripture or responding to them and to your circumstances with timely scripture. You may want to help them memorize the books of the Bible. There is a song for that, I think. You may want to spend a season discussing the Fruits of the Spirit or the Sermon on the Mount or the Book of James. Whatever goals you set, pray those goals over them and for them. Your home should be a little mini seminary!
We also discussed our greatest fears concerning our children. God did not bless your quiver so you could walk around crying and trembling. Fear , my dears, is from your enemy. Fear is evil because it shows that we don't trust God completely in that area. Connie shared that she had to mentally imagine some of her worst fears coming true to be set free from fear. Look your fear in the face and place the cross of Christ in front of it and it will cease to have dominion over you. What if ( fill in the blank) happens? Well, if it happens, it has first been sifted through the righteous right hand of your heavenly Father and since He is Redeemer, He will take that and use it for His glory and your good. That's just how He is and He is the same, yesterday, today and forever. So it's all good. Whatever you walk through, He will not allow the flames to burn you or the waves to overcome you. He will only give you what you can handle and His grace is enough. Period. The trials build your faith. It is really kind of cool to be in a place where the only hope you have is if God gives you a miracle. Surrender everything to the Lord and since He's faithful, it is not in His character to let you down! EVER!
We discussed apologizing to your kids and asking them to forgive you for your mistakes. You are not perfect and you will make mistakes everyday but by God's grace, your children will be fine. Don't be proud with your kids. Let them see you humble yourself and admit you were wrong. It will endear them to you, trust me! God shows us grace and mercy and we should offer that mercy and grace to our kids. They will then , in turn, offer it to you, when you mess up!
It is so important to relinquish control to the Lord. Even though you may be with your child 24/7, you are in control of zilch. Our times are in God's hands. All you can do is provide a godly home, unconditional love and pray about everything. Your children will make mistakes and it is our job to help them get back up under the umbrella of protection by making things right with God and with you. Provide a loving atmosphere to receive the Prodigal , over and over. Isn't that what God does with us? There is nothing that we could ever do to separate us from the love of God and our kids need to know that we will love them no matter what they do. We love them because of who they are, not because of what they do or don't do. This type of relationship lays a foundation for a great relationship that they will want to preserve as they get older.
We touched a little on educating our children. Connie suggested beginning with the end in mind: at the end of your child's schooling, the question should not be "how much does he know?" it should be, "how much does he care?'
Connie brought several of her favorite books to share with us:
The Book of Virtues for Boys and Girls by Wiiliam J Bennett I read this to mine, too!
God's People Follow Him, Bible Nurture and Reader Series by Rod and Staff Publishers
The Educated Child by William J Bennett
"You Can't Make Me" by Cynthia Tobias (for the strong willed child)
This was our last lesson on parenting, but if some issues or questions come up this week, write them down and we will talk about it next week. The 16th and the 23rd of April are going to be on marriage. The 30th of April will be a brunch to wrap up our time together. Write down any questions you may have about marriage and you can turn them in anonymously and we will discuss!
Love to all! Have a great week! JoAnne
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